Thee MC said:Dear Criporc,
On Apex 7, I'm having a very difficult time moving up the rocks outside of the Spire. It's really bugging me a lot! I try to get up but it's like I keep hitting little invisible walls. Any advice on moving up the rocks to Spire quickly and efficiently?
Struggles to Rock Climb
Long ago during my travels in the exotic jungles of the far east, I heard of a monk who could quickly and efficiently run up rocks and spires. I tracked him down using tracking techniques and such. After sneaking into his room while he was watching a movie (Titanic) I managed to take a peek in his closet. I soon realized that this monk wrote his daily happenings on his drawers! His undies, of all things! Among many interesting facts and factoids, I learned that he liked to run up rocks at full speed. He used a word that I am not too familiar with for it was written in the oldest of tongues; the turtle tongue. I had to google it on my phone. The translation software was buggy, however, so I decided to call my friend who invented the dictionary. He told me that the word was "SPRUNT".
Sarge said:Dear Criporc,
Please tell me what I should do if someone tries to stab me with a sword.
Recently, as in a time that happened not too long ago to me, I was watching a documentary on TV about ants. It was fascinating. I learned that ants are the only living creature other than humans that are capable of vengeance. The documentary told of a particular ant who was imprisoned and forced to fight in ant style battles for the amusement of other ants after his ant family was murdered by the ant king. Long story short, the ant fought with a ferocity unseen before in the ant battles of the ants. Fearing that the ant would win the ant hearts and the ant minds of the ant people, the ant king decided to battle the ant himself, and end the ant in single ant combat. 1v1, ant style. The show of the ant century! During the fight, the ant lost its ant sword. OH NO! As the ant king tried to stab the ant with its own ant sword, the ant dodged and ducked and ran away! Its first ant thought was to seek help immediately. No help came. (its a 1v1, what you thinking, ant? stupid...) It then decided to keep dancing out of reach of the stabbing ant sword of the ant king. After several ant minutes, the ant king grew very flustered, and started making giant, forceful swings with his ant sword at the ant. This gave the ant more ant time to make an ant move. At the opportune ant moment, the ant charged the ant king while the ant king was preparing another cut with his ant sword. Now that the ants were in grappling range, the ant sword became a lot less ant deadly. The ant was then able to use his ant hands to attack the ant king on his ant face. The ant still died, but at least it put up a pretty good ant fight.
TheBigL said:Dear Criporc..
How do I get over my bowel incontinence?
A few weeks ago, I went to a Doctor with the same problem. I told her that she should first try to alter her diet. I told her to stay away from junk food, and try to eat foods with a lot of fiber. I also suggested that she talk to her family doctor about getting some feces bulking pills. Along with all that, I told my doctor to try to strengthen her pelvic floor muscles. I'm not an expert on the matter, so I couldn't suggest to her the proper exercises, but I remembered that it is possible to use electroshock thingies to do this as well.
These methods worked marvelously for my doctor, and I hope they will for you as well, L. However, if the problem persists, there are surgical options as well. Again, I am not an expert in this field, but I believe there are rectal implants of some kind that can be installed in the anus to create a stronger seal. If you feel you need this done, I can recommend a great doctor! If that fails, you can get a nifty little bag installed to catch all the fecal matter as it slowly and involuntarily drips out of your anus.
Airman Steve said:im having bad connection issues. what should i do?
I learned the following when I went to connecting school in Connectincut. I majored in Applied Introvertiality, but the curriculum included several classes that touched on the subject. Basically, the first step to connecting with other people is to show them your true self. That way, if someone ever likes you, they will like you for who you are. And maybe you will like them back! I'm getting really bored of this question... Make eye contact, try to pay attention to what people are saying to you, and don't fart around people you just met.